Information Stupor Highway

When my friend Kate, who, allow the record show, is lovely and more than than I deserve, signed me up for this site, I was genuinely pleased with myself. I felt large and adroit 'cause I had a small corner of the web to name my own, however tenuously. Still, as so often happens, a idea have come up along and coddled my small idyll.

I bought some bluish hair dye, the other day, to travel clandestine with a grouping of fascistic old ladies set on world domination.

Well, that's not true. To be honest, I saw a cricketer with bright bluish hair, once, and much as I detest cricket I thought it looked good.

So I finally got around to going through with it, and I noticed something. This hair-dye company have got a website.

If you're anything like me, you have to inquire yourself why. To salvage you the trouble, I took a look.

Well, allow me state right off, seeing the site didn't reply the question. I'll give you a little run-down of what's on this site: A listing of the assorted colors available. Some white, person-shaped silhouettes with hair in said colours. Nothing else.

And, in this way, I've come up to a conclusion. There are too many websites.

I have got no expostulation to there being a diverse scope of information beginnings available, but I experience I must pull the line at things such as as the hairdye debacle. In fact, I'm going to travel one additional and propose something radical:

There is too much pornography on the internet.

I know, I know, this may sound harsh, but hear me out. The other day, I was looking around on a data file sharing programme to see if I could happen any interesting unrecorded music videos. I typed in "Clapton" and I curse to God 1 of the results came back "Horny Teenage Lesbians Part 2."

Now let's be frank. If you've read this column before and are not my editor/therapist/other personality, you've clearly got too much time on your hands. Don't experience bad, I empathise, I'm the 1 authorship this drivel. Nonetheless, take a minute of your ample time, and seek to happen any nexus - any nexus at all - between a 60 twelvemonth old English guitar player and horny adolescent lesbians. Answers, if you'd be so kind, to the usual address.

Also, while we're on this subject, let's halt kidding eachother and acquire right to the point: No substance how many times pornography sites have the word "free", it really isn't, and I, for one, am ill of this.

Sure, sure, there are cats out there who ran into existent women. Guys who have got interesting lives, and who aren't shockingly pale and bluish haired. Guys who, if asked to take part in a turn of energetic sleeping room gymnastics, would not be appalled to happen themselves sterilised by 18 hours a day's worth of computing machine radiation. (Sorry guys, but we are. Go on, check, I'll wait.)

For the remainder of us, a grouping in which I must sadly include myself, there is often small recourse but to undertake the job alone. Are it too much to inquire that some kindly, lecherous old helper out there might take commiseration and administer free, high quality pornography to us all?! Perhaps he does. Perhaps there is antic pornography just waiting to be discovered, and it never will, because there are so many lesser, expensive sites clogging the nett like so much shaven pubic hair in a drain.

Alright, the analogy was a small much, but you acquire my point.

I'm not saying I have got the answers. I don't cognize how we would implement a purge of the full cyberspace that leaves of absence only the arousing and the useful, but I still state I've had worse ideas.

Incidentally, "Horny Teenage Lesbians Part 2" isn't up to much. But there's a nice video of "Wonderful Tonight" going around...